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i
do voodoo he do voodoo do you? |
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Land
Ahoy!
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The
Start:
In true Luddite fashion, Battlefield Band
endeavour to complete our spring tour
of The U.S. without the aid of an Aeroplane.
Initially we were to take the QE2 but
we got a better deal on pedalo hire; the
result of a hot tip from Andrew
“Freddie” Flintoff and
the Boys
of the Lough, who were also heading
to work in the America’s at the
same time. This may seem a long journey
but we all like to do our bit for the
ozone layer and the exercise will eventually
benefit all of our cricket teams in the
imminent cricket
world cup in the West Indies.
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Our tour
this time starts in Maine at the chocolate
church and moseys through twenty of the
forty-eight contiguous states in the Union,
ending four and a half thousand miles
later in Memphis, Tennessee.
Normally
we arrive with ample time the night before
a tour and we were all looking forward
to the world famous Karaoke at the Holiday
inn of Bath Maine, but Freddie and Cathal
– the strongest and most experienced
pedaloists - had a rough old time negotiating
the current running through the duty free
docks in Newfoundland and we arrived far
too late for such frivolity. So we bid
each other a fond adieu as we head our
separate ways, Freddie down south for
the cricket and Cathal and the Boys for
their tour of America.
On the road again - the
batties went thisaway
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Saturday,
3rd March.
After
a couple hours sleep and the usual jet-lag
info-mercial marathon, We reconvene with
our new and improved abs and break bread
in the prodigal sun café in Historic
Bath – damn fine thaw time food.
As always the concert is a full house
and a grand beginning to our spring-time,
batty safari.
Sunday,
4th March
Rhode
Island is the smallest state in the union
and home to the Blackstone River Theatre
in Cumberland. We have performed a number
of times for Russell Gusetti over the
years with great success. They have started
putting on top-notch Indian classical
music here in Cumberland so it is worth
checking out their programme if you are
into that kind of thing.
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The
first few days of any tour exist as a
period of transition and preparation for
the coming weeks so there are always a
handful of tasks to be completed and being
great believers in the art of voodoo,
it is with the utmost urgency that we
acquire some necessary items from the
local voodoo market: An Oaken wardrobe
and a potato.
These
idolatrous representations of Alasdair
and Myself will ensure that we play in
harmony for the next four weeks: We prefer
this course of action to either talent
or practise. |
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It
should also be noted at this juncture
that Rob, our trusty somalier, was unable
to make the first portion of our tour
so we were compelled to employ his understudy,
Fabrizio
Ravanelli, in his place.
There
was a time when we tussled with the ethics
of this but Ravi’s time with Dundee
offered the necessary east coast street
cred to fly the batty flag. Fabrizio is
a great fella and he even grew a belly,
pony tail, and Maglite for his month away.
His driving, however is suitably atrocious,
though perhaps not as good as Rob’s.
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Mi
sederò domani su una ciliegia!
And I can't find me gaffa tape with me
shirt over me 'ead neither!
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Monday
5th March.
We
are playing in SOB (Sound of Brasil) tonight
in New York City. We have spent a fair
bit of time in New York and it is always
great to be back here. Tonight is however
slightly out of the ordinary as not only
is our man in Havana, Dr. Nancy Groce,
and our agent, Mitch Greenhill, at the
gig;
but
so too is our old Mucker John
McCusker .
if
this sounds a bit clandestine, it is because
we are actually more of a spy ring than
a music group; a collective of like-minded
maniacs, hell-bent on complete domination
of the diddly domain: But dinnae tell
onybody.
As
well as the above-mentioned agents for
the triplification of America, Lisa Gutkin
of the grammy-award-winning Klezmatics
comes along for a nosey and a few points
après-ski at first the kettle of
fish in the village and then Mona’s
for the Monday night soiree.
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You
ain't seen me - right? |
Tuesday,
6th March.
Ostensibly
we are off today but we have a recording
engagement at the world-famous Electric
Nancyland Studios situated in the upper
east side of Manhattan. It is here that
agent Greenhill is playing a wee bit of
guitar on a couple of tracks for the next
Battlefield band record. Or perhaps it
is really a coded message to all the diddly
men worldwide. We may never know, but
the fact remains, Mitch is a great guitar
player who has been involved with American
music for many years so we are very pleased
he agreed to play on these tracks.
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| Wednesday,
7th March. Again
a day off but Celtic are playing A.C.
Milan in the champions league. Unfortunately,
most of the “normal” television
sports channels are showing the English
clubs live. Alan and Ravi managed to find
the New York Celtic supporters club in
the Parlour bar in Midtown manhattan,
which was packed with supporters and festooned
with scarves. (www.nyceltic.com)
An all-around great atmosphere though
Celtic lost in extra time.
The
rest of us made our way to the 11th street
bar where although we never saw the intended
game, we did manage a great day out with
Photographers Richard A. Smith and Enrico
A.C. Milano. (I never found out Enrico’s
family name but these are fine fella’s
and we managed a rake of pints.)
Thursday,
8th March.
Alan
is turning into quite the Internet man
and, (in the interest of journalistic
balance) he manages to find the New York
Rangers supporters club who are showing
their UEFA Cup tie with Ossasuna of Pamplona.
(www.bigapplebears.com)
Perhaps I should say that this is the
“Rangers supporters club of New
York” as opposed to the “New
York Rangers supporters club”: The
New York Rangers being one of the local
ice hockey teams as opposed to a football
club from Glasgow.
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...save
the world and get sconed! |
We
Three Mosquitoes were unable to make
it to the match as we were en route
between Chinatown New York and Chinatown
Philadelphia where we were to hire a
clown car for the next portion of the
tour.
The
clown car is slower and less comfortable
than the ordinary vehicle – this
is due to the wheels being neither round
nor of uniform size - but it runs on
a sophisticated fuel comprised of ethanol
and laughing gas and is therefore not
only more environmentally friendly,
but if one adds fresh cream to the tank,
it emits a fantastic form of whipped
cream which heightens the senses and
makes one feel 'ooteyit' and 'barry'.
(Not you Barry)
Firmly
ensconsed in our Bozomobile we make
our way to Atlantic City and the Donald
Trump, Taj Mahal hotel and casino. (www.trumptaj.com)
Donald Trump’s family comes from
Lewis so we got a good deal on the room,
but never won any dosh. There was, however
a fine pub nearby which is simply called
“Irish Pub”.(www.theirishpub.com)
It is open twenty four hours a day and
a pint is only $2.50 so everyone’s
a winner.
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US
Spring 2007
